Friday, April 1, 2011
Ever since Charlie Sheen and executive producer Chuck Lorre began their epic feud, more viewers have become aware of Lorre’s “Vanity Card” routine.
Thursday night’s “The Big Bang Theory” was no exception.
After staying relatively mum on the issue, Lorre once again took to his vanity card to send his somewhat subliminal message.
Lorre, along with other “Two and a Half Men” staff, is being sued for $100 million by Sheen for a long laundry list of issues.
Since his departure from the show, Sheen has embarked on a live show that starts today across the country. Some critics believe the shows will be Sheen’s final downfall as ticket sales have slumped – regardless of what Charlie is telling everyone.
Related: Critics Worry About Charlie Sheen's Upcoming Live Shows
This week’s vanity card was one of the longest in Lorre history, forcing thousands of DVR users to fine tune their pause and rewind skills.
Here is what the vanity card said:
Whenever I've gone through tough times, well-meaning people have told me that God/the universe does not give us more than we can handle. Well, I've been going through a tough time recently, and sure enough, that old saying has been tossed my way on several morose occasions. After some careful consideration, I've decided it's bull$#*!. As an aphorism, it only makes sense in hindsight - after you've managed to crawl from the wreckage of whatever calamity that God/the universe decided to toss your way. No one ever uses it to comfort someone who's been hit by a bus or turned into a puddle of goo by flesh-eating bacteria (although in the right circumstance, that could be a hoot). Another thing I hear a lot is, "this too shall pass." Again, I know these are words meant to reassure, but somehow they always leave me feeling that heartbreak, rage and grief are going to come shooting out of me like kidney stones through an inflamed urethra. For someone in crisis, I think a more accurate and helpful assessment of reality would be, "Love, sex, food, friendship, art, play, beauty and the simple pleasure of a cup of tea are all well and good, but never forget that God/the universe is determined to kill you by whatever means necessary." Consider trying that next time you're called on to do some consoling. If you're feeling impish, you might also try, "According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon."
No one can accuse Lorre of every holding anything back, and this message was no exception. This is not the first time the producer has targeted sheen. Just last month Lorre wrote that if Charlie outlived him he would be pissed.
All’s fair in love and Hollywood? Enough said.
